Be the man

On Thursday I will turn 35. With the big 4.0 creeping closer and closer, it made me think back to my last big birthday… my 30th. The thing I remember most about that birthday was that my Granda was at my party. Now to others, that may seem insignificant, but it is one of the last memories I have of him before he got sick & passed away. My Granda had such a big influence on my life and he showed me how to be a man.

I never really thought too much about his influence until I became a husband & a father. To me, he was the perfect role model. He was married to my Granny for 50 years. He always made sure she got what she wanted, even if he moaned about it.

Their relationship was amazing and a perfect example of how marriage should be. I am sure they had arguments like any other couple, but it never showed. She was his princess.

Mrs B is my princess. I try to treat her like one as much as possible. I am not always successful at it because I am still working on not being a d1ck. I do this for several reasons but the main one is that I want the boys to treat their future wives as princess’ too. Mrs B won’t appreciate that statement because she wants to be the only woman in their lives forever.

Growing up, I was a bit of a d1ck but that didn’t stop my Granda from loving me or giving me a clip round the ear if I needed it, which I did. I always looked up to him, even if I didn’t show it all the time.

Now that I am a father, I am always wary of how I treat people, especially in front of my boys. I want them to have manners and to be respectful, but most of all, I want them to grow up feeling happy & loved. Their minds soak up so much of what is happening around them. They can sense tension & hatred as much as they can sense love & happiness. They will grow up treating people the same way that they see their parents & grandparents treating other people.

The world can be a horrible, cruel place but human beings are not made to be horrible or cruel. We are made to love and be loved. We are made to look out for each other, support each other & be there for each other.

So as a father, I want my boys to choose love over hate. To help, not hinder. To look out for each other and not just themselves. My hope is that I can have more days of treating people as I want to be treated and less days where I am a d1ck.

I believe that boys look up to the men in their family, so we need to ensure that we are worthy of being looked up to. Real men are the ones who say I love you to their children. Who give cuddles & who show emotion, without holding back. The ‘men don’t cry’ stereotype is balls.

I will hold doors open for people. I will say please & thank you. I will give way to other cars and be considerate. I will help people out as often as I can. I will do all this because I saw the men in my family do all of this. I want to pass all this onto my boys.

Our children are the future, so we need to lead by example and teach them how be the best version of themselves and not be d1cks.

Bearded with boys

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